Hi kids!
How are you today?
Well I m glad to hear that.
Today we re going to do a science experiment.
Do you like science?
Yeah, me too.
I want you all to go outside and look at the sun.
Isn t it beautiful?
The sun is 93 million miles away and it heats are entire solar system.
Pretty neat, huh?
Now just keep looking at the sun.
Don t turn your head away silly.
See those white spots in your eyes that s your corneas burning up.
Can you say permanent optical damage?
Gooood!!!!!

Oh, I m the bad kids show host
On PBS from coast to coast
You should listen to me instead of your mom and dad
And Barney the dinosaur
Is just a prehistoric bore
Cause he doesn t now to be evil and bad.

Okay kids, today were going to learn a new word.
Hate.
That s h-a-t-e.
As in, I hate you. You stupid little brats.
Isn t it fun to tease?
Speaking of hate. I ve gotten a lot of letters from your parents lately.
Mean letters. I don t think they like me very much.
I don t think they like you either.
Oh, all except for you mom Billy. Your mom likes me a lot.
Can you say adultery?
Yeah, you got it.
Well that just about wraps up our lesson for today.
But before I go I want you to remember who your real friend is.
Any ideas?
It s me!
That s right I m the one who gives you cigarettes.
Yipeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Oh, I m the bad kids show host
On PBS from coast to coast
You should listen to me instead of your mom and dad
And Barney the dinosaur
Is just a prehistoric bore
Cause he doesn t now to be evil and bad.

Don t forget satanic Tuesdays.
Bring your pentagrams.